Loneliness

Being alone can be a very good thing.
But not when this overwhelming loneliness crashed me like an avalanche.

If I thought I had experience loneliness, then I was too naive.

This, here, after these months, should be the more exact sad feelings of being alone.

The lack of friends like you back in Taiwan,
it isn't easy.

The lack of hangouts w/ a bunch of lovely friends chatting without any language gap,
it is getting tough.

Still, most of the time, I am alone; but not lonely.

I think I should still be able to handle, when this Loneliness attacks as the allies with Nostalgia.

It is not about how many people I have around, nor how often I socialize.
So knowing more people or going out partying is more a painkiller than a cure.

It is related to the mood, it's the feelings, relating proabably to hormones also.

And there is a question, how can I get rid of this problem in the title?

Him

I don't think I know him.

How can a person be so confusing?

I don't have to feel needed to be sure about a person's saying he likes me.

However, I don't feel that I am special/exclusive to him.

Perhaps,....feeling special or exclusive is only a girlfriend's privilege.

But hey! I'm a girlfriend to nobody!!!

Things appear complex, but in fact,

I know intrinsically, it would be just simple.

A simple fact that is too terrible and heartbreaking for me to accept,

or even to admit.

Life is not a tragedy.

But it is certainly not a comedy or a cheering soap opera

when the person you care so much would rather take his free time

doing all the other things you can imagine

than sitting down and write you.

Am I becoming a symbol of boredom to him already?

Feels no need to chat because there is scarcely anything to say?

Feels no impulse to be sweet in things beside words because there remains no passion?

Dear....Oh dear....